My daughter was exclusively breastfed for 18 months. In the beginning, I tried pumping milk so the other family members could feed her while I rested but I found pumping exhausting and she stopped taking bottle around 3 months so I continued to breastfeed exclusively.
1.5 years later, sleep deprivation had caught up too much. She was waking up too many times out of habit and I would feed all night whenever she woke up. After talking to a few mother friends, I decided to wean her off so both of us could sleep better and that meant I could be more efficient at home and at work.
During the day, I was only feeding her once and this was going to be easy to wean because it’s easy to distract during the day. I was very nervous about weaning her off at night. I prepared her for a few weeks that amma’s milk is going away and that she can eat other foods while amma will always be there with her for comfort. This actually made her a bit anxious while she understood it so I stopped telling it as often and would tell maybe once a day of sorts. I also read a book to her and regretted tbh because that was making her way too anxious so I stopped it.
Then, on the day I stopped feeding, I told her that Amma’s milk wouldn’t be coming anymore and that Amma had some pain, so she couldn’t feed her anymore. (Using a band-aid can help if you think it will make it easier for your child to understand.)
First night: It went surprisingly smoothly—she seemed to understand, although she did ask for milk a few times. I rocked her each time, and my husband helped out a few times too. There was one moment during the night when she cried a lot though not a lot, and that was really hard for me as well. But I kept gently telling her that Amma had some pain and continued rocking her. She went back to sleep fairly quickly. We had also kept some snacks, milk, and water nearby to offer when she woke up, but she refused them.
Second night: Of course, she asked for it again. We repeated the same explanation and rocked her to sleep. You can also try playing her favorite song or singing to soothe her if that helps. She was a bit clingy and irritable at random times during the day, which I took as her way of adjusting to the change.
Third night: It was similar to the second night, but she seemed to realize more clearly that this might be a permanent change. She was more irritable and a little sad. Again, I gently reminded her that Amma doesn’t have milk anymore and still has some pain. I rocked her each time she woke up. By now, the number of night wakings had already started to reduce.
Fourth night: Her sleep improved a lot—she woke up only twice. This continued for a while, until she fell sick the very next month… but that’s a whole different story.
However, now at 4 months after weaning, she still wakes up 1-3 times but she goes back to sleep very quick. Sleep did get way better post weaning, though she still doesn’t sleep through the night.
A little advice for mothers preparing to wean: Stay loving and patient, but also be gentle yet firm. Please don’t give in if your baby cries a lot. If you do, they will expect to be fed whenever they cry the next night, making it harder for both of you. This can be a challenging time for both of you, so stay close and offer comfort as your baby adjusts. From my experience and that of dear friends, about three nights is usually enough for your little one to begin understanding and adapting. Trust yourself and the process—you’re stronger than you think. Sending you all the love and strength on this journey.